Kensington News and Post
Frestonia is a very small nation, following the precedent of Luxembourg and Monaco, with the precept of the late Dr. Schumaker “Small is Beautiful”. It’s an area of approx. 8 acres, a distinctly isolated island of near dereliction, surrounded by the West 10 and 11 sectors of London, England.
A full transcription of this article is available below.
Frestonia, November 1
An international incident with grave and worldwide repercussions may be sparked off right here in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea.
Well, not actually the Royal Borough. Not any longer.
For UDI has been declared in the area hereafter to be called Frestonia. Any invasion of this territory could cause the most serious international crime since Cuba.
The Free Independent Republic of Frestonia declared this week by its population of 120, as applied for full membership of the United Nations with autonomous nation status.
While intending to maintain cordial relations with Britain, and to allow free access for all friendly visitors from abroad with negligible customs and passport formalities, the Frestonians are hostile to the Greater London Council and other organs of British imperialism.
Their independence marks their final rebellion against the GLC’s announcement – made without public participation or consultation – to put out tenders to lease off the entire area for industrial development.
At an emergency summit meeting held in the country last week, representatives of the GLC failed to turn up to hear the people’s abomination of their plans to introduce capitalist industries into a close-knit residential community.
The imperialist powers that be, claim the Frestonians, had neglected their terrain during times of economic depression, and have now forfeited the right to hold power.
For during these times, Frestonians took over the derelict houses as pioneer homesteaders, mending and renovating them, clearing two large demolition areas for open space and horticulture, and building greenhouses and a waterfall.
The natives claim that the GLC’s lack of concern for the area “demonstrated their unfitness to remain as its rulers and to plan for its future.”
The new planners for the free nation (their motto is Nos Sumus Omnes Una Familia – We Are All One Family) have all been granted the honorary surname of Bramley.
“We have heard the GLC rehouses families,” a Bramley spokesman said. “We are all Bramleys so they must rehouse us all together.”
Their government is egalitarian and democratic, with ministers holding office for three months, and rotating roles to allow maximum experience of government to all Frestonian inhabitants.
The current Minister of State for Foreign Affairs, David Rapport Bramley has notified HM Queen Elizabeth II of Britain, Britain’s Prime Minister, the UN Secretary General and the EEC of the new republic.
Letters have also been sent to small countries which might be sympathetic to Frestonia’s cause as an emergent nation.
Frestonia hopes to apply for membership of the EEC, as well as to develop its own currency, radio station, stamps, and power supply. It accepts that for many years to come it will be unable to attain self-sufficiency in food and provisions, but is hoping for major industrial developments, especially through tourism.
But while Frestonia pledges peace to all well wishing neighbouring states, there can be no doubt of its belligerent intentions toward invaders.
Their declaration plainly states: “We appeal to the UN, in particular to other small, emerging and non-aligned nations, to treat our application with the utmost seriousness and urgency. If delay in processing our application occurs, an invasion into Frestonia and eviction by the GLC may occur, in which case there will exist a crisis with international ramifications.
“The necessity may arise for Frestonia to require the UN to send a token peace-keeping force. These are developments which we must at all costs avoid.”
You have been warned. One man in Paris some ten years ago applied for his house to become an independent state. His application was granted.